Acceptance, some never will

"Use it or lose it". whilst pointing at your head. This is my mums way of telling my dad to stop being forgetful. No matter how many times she is told he will not improve she insists on saying it. It now just annoys me. We went to see him yesterday. His greeting for me, you are putting weight on, granted I will never be a ballet dancer, but really! But compared to me at 18 .... He has a valid point. I sometimes wonder if she visits because she misses him, or if she can tell her friends she has. When there she fusses over everyone but him. But it is her way of feeling useful. She picked holes in everything. Whose slippers are those? He looks, says "mine, you should know you put them on me last night". She obviously hadn't, but if he thinks she is there all the time, that's a result. Yesterday she took him Jaffa cakes, he was thrilled , five times in thirty minutes!!! to discover them in the bag. He hid them under his chair, " you can't leave anything in this place people take them" being his excuse. He looked content, quiet but content. He chatted to me like a man confused, I am not sure he knows who I am. But always the gent, he is pleasant and even attempts a joke. Whilst there he was called to tea. The careers came to take him in the dining room and he came alive, he was laughing and joking like he used to. This really upset my mum as she couldn't understand it. But he is happy. I acknowledge he has the memory span of a goldfish, accept it and just chat. I don't think she ever will. On the journey home we chatted about home coming home. I told her he never can, her mobility is failing. But she just said its lonely. Oh, and on leaving I told the carers about the Jaffa cakes, before they get a shock at finding random biscuits possibly growing new life forms, as he is good at hiding stuff. Because I know he forgot the minute his hand left the bag.