Hot Gossip

Now those of you who have previously read this blog know my dad is now in an EMI unit. That's Elderley Mentally Ill. Dementia as mentally ill, I beg to disagree. This is not a state of mind, he has progressive vascular dementia that is caused a physical narrowing of the vessels in his brain. But hey , ho. He is in a care home, a really nice home, with lovely residents. And caring staff..... But today I saw things, I asked for an escort to the bathroom for him. No one came, but I did spy one carer doing the hair of another in the hair salon at the end of the corridor. So what if he wets himself when my mum is visiting, make sure you look good when you turn out tonight. But part of me thought, you must hav ethe patience of a saint to do this job. I am not a soft touch. But even I did not speak or complain about this. Luckily he was ok in the bathroom. But did I need to wait for him to go? Why did I not go with him??? I'm his daughter and he still has some dignity. I did however have to take him for a shave, no one had bothered to help him do that. This is a very expensive five star home. Goodness knows what the three star ones get. Anyway onto the purpose of this blog. Most of the residents have memory issues. Heck, last week it was, who can remember longest? One lady proudly announced, I can remember what we had for lunch! The only one. Today they told me how much dad had enjoyed the tennis final. I asked him, reply I never saw it. For the first time ever mum cried whilst there. The guilt of having a husband in care still bothers her. We were talking about their diamond wedding and she said to super memory lady, well sixty years I have done the best I could. Too right, she spent the last ten as a full time carer for a stroke victim who developed dementia. No easy task. No matter how sad it is, going visiting make me giggle. It really annoys mum that I laugh at memory challenge. What ever I say, very loudly as both her and dad refuse to wear their hearing aids, is the source of gossip. My parking ticket last week was a hot topic for,,,,,, three minutes before they forgot. After shopping mum asked me not to discuss things that happen as they talk about it, she does not want to be the source of gossip. As for me. I am going to think of more and more scandalous things to say. They sit all day in the conservatory, nodding off, bored. If my silly tales amuse them and get them chatting for three minutes then go for it. I just need to think of some juicy bits of gossip they can relate to. The high today, dads face when they asked if he wanted a shandy! Oh yes please. Then he forgot it was there, left and it got warm. Wasted! Dementia is bad, but not drinking in hot weather just make sit worse.