Would you rest your legs on a stranger?

apologies for spelling and grammar, IOS 7 does not like blogger! If the answer is no, you are not my dad. But then again if you are reading this you are not my dad either. Today has been trying. The reality of the cost of permanent care has hit my mum. She can't understand why she should use her meager savings to pay, that is my funeral money she kept saying. I'm getting a solicitor . They can't take that. Now granted mum has planned almost state funerals for both of them but even so she does have a point. Pay to the point of poverty is just wrong. So all the way there she was bringing home home, despite the fact so is not mentally or physically possible of doing this. But, onto dad. Today was a bad day. His memory is appalling to the point after his brew and biscuit when I asked him to brush away crumbs, he asked why I threw them at him. He has virtually no short term memory left. But his long term is fading fast. He thinks he lives with mum and asked why she had gone to the shop, and when I asked what is for tea, his answer. Whatever mum makes. But he was happy and having a laugh with the care staff, they are really good with him. On leaving mum asked do he want to come home. No, I am fine here said dad. yes, she was upset!he had no idea what she meant as he thinks he still lives with her having a goldfish memory. Even though is is getting worst and more physically frail, he is still a happy man. Tries to entertain and apparently has good manners. That is unless you happen to be sat opposite him and he is sleepy, when apparently he nudges your legs a few times to move. If you don't he simply puts his legs on your lap and goes to sleep!!! Excellent!!!

My mum sent me a card?????

Well yesterday my parents celebrated their Diamond Wedding, 60 years! I had been planning things in the background for months. It appeared effortless on the day. Carer brought dad out of home to venue. Mum flapped so much she forgot her tights!!! Mini bus arrived without step so me and my eldest son lifted her into the mini bus, and out again! Without showing her drawers! It was really nice to see them together in a "normal" setting. Usual family scuffles ensued, what is a family meal without distant cousins fighting??? Not really, every one got on. But dad sat there, said hello to old friends, knew who they were and even cracked a few jokes, but ....... He didn't recognise any of his grandchildren. My children were very close all night as another grandparent died just before we left for the celebration. They hovered round those that are left, my eldest got asked numerous times if he was a waiter???? No I'm her grandson. Oh the joy of dining with an ageing population. I introduced dad to his 18 year old grandson. He had no recognition, then stared at me and asked why I hadn't told him I was pregnant! I hope he doesn't mean now??? He did however remember the old friends there and it was nice to see him so social. My highlight was showing him the message from the Queen, this is now a card with the Queen on the front. He looked, and said why has my mother sent me a card? Then winked at me to let me know he knew who it was. Of course my mum got all huffy and said it's the Queen. Something's never change. However, I feel I have to comment on his appetite. He started eating at 6 and did not stop until 9. He ate every last scrap on his plate, smiled chatted and even managed to cut the cake. It was a really good night , but also sad. No not just because of the demise of a grandma but because of the demise of my children's grandad. He will ever remember the joy he brought when they were young, daft grandad, but they will remember for just this reason, he doesn't know who they are. However after watch him eat, as for my post being Dementia ate my dad, last night he ate it right back!!!!!