Acceptance, some never will

"Use it or lose it". whilst pointing at your head. This is my mums way of telling my dad to stop being forgetful. No matter how many times she is told he will not improve she insists on saying it. It now just annoys me. We went to see him yesterday. His greeting for me, you are putting weight on, granted I will never be a ballet dancer, but really! But compared to me at 18 .... He has a valid point. I sometimes wonder if she visits because she misses him, or if she can tell her friends she has. When there she fusses over everyone but him. But it is her way of feeling useful. She picked holes in everything. Whose slippers are those? He looks, says "mine, you should know you put them on me last night". She obviously hadn't, but if he thinks she is there all the time, that's a result. Yesterday she took him Jaffa cakes, he was thrilled , five times in thirty minutes!!! to discover them in the bag. He hid them under his chair, " you can't leave anything in this place people take them" being his excuse. He looked content, quiet but content. He chatted to me like a man confused, I am not sure he knows who I am. But always the gent, he is pleasant and even attempts a joke. Whilst there he was called to tea. The careers came to take him in the dining room and he came alive, he was laughing and joking like he used to. This really upset my mum as she couldn't understand it. But he is happy. I acknowledge he has the memory span of a goldfish, accept it and just chat. I don't think she ever will. On the journey home we chatted about home coming home. I told her he never can, her mobility is failing. But she just said its lonely. Oh, and on leaving I told the carers about the Jaffa cakes, before they get a shock at finding random biscuits possibly growing new life forms, as he is good at hiding stuff. Because I know he forgot the minute his hand left the bag.

Move over Jensen Button!

We may have a high speed hero in the making. Yes I know I normally blog about Clem. But today's is about the funniest thing I have seen in months. Even Betty giggled. This weekend I took mum to see dad to the home. She was very nervous and spent 3 hours in asda trying to put it off. We finally arrived and he was looking good. Pretty fine in fact. Clean, tidy and apart from am I coming home questions, was in good form. They held hands through the visit, something I have never seen them do before. They obviously miss each other, but, at this stage, are better apart. Her parting words, well know I know he is ok I can let friends come. But today I took an hour, which turned into the whole day, to take her to the doctors. He gave her the memory test, she passed with flying colours, he thinks her problem is stress related. Then came the funny bit. She had seen a scooter for sale. She had bought it unseen at a bargain price. We had to pick it up. Quite a boring task. Oh No. The lady sat my mum on the scooter to explain the gears and accelerator, next minute mums scooter had mounted the lady's new one, bent bull bars, or rather hamster bars, chipped paintwork. And me wide eyed and trying not to laugh. No injuries but an old guy wishing he has reversed it out the garage without letting her sit on it. She promptly paid and scooted off home. I drove, chuckling all the way.

You are married?????

Well I went to see dad today in my lunch hour. He seems chirpy enough. I started to tell him about my eldest sons birthday. He asked his name , I answered. I asked him to guess how old he is...... His reply who is he? I said he is my oldest child. Have you got married??? The reply... He now thinks he lives in his childhood house, has no recollection of grandchildren, my marriage 21 years ago almost, he is going back in time I have a feeling this is just going to get worse So I will continue to visit, put more pictures on my phone .......and repeat myself .......a lot