No, no and thrice no!!!

Well my dad remains in hospital. His leg, taking on an imitation of threading cotton reels on strings, is healing well. However, slurring of speech and an inability to swallow makes me think this is not right. To me he seems to have had a stroke. But, as I am told repeatedly by staff on the ward they have no point of reference. Many may get cross at this, but we are dealing with a man with advanced dementia. I know what they mean. If you never met him you may think he is just another dementia sufferer, another batty old man. To be fair if I met him today I would think the same. He is talking rubbish, well to be precise absolute bollocks. He has moved boxes all day , had a lock in on the second floor, and I have bunked off school again. This is not like him, his random talk usually makes more sense. Plus he would know to ring me if he found a lock in! The main problem is not eating, since last Thursday, due to an inability to swallow. His NG tube lasted two hours first time. He then got comedy mittens, the doctor was not impressed as I laughed but come on they were cartoon boxing gloves, attempt two. I did bet the nurse two hours. Come on they are impossible to remove. He did 24 minutes then Ng and bridle stitch removed. Since then he has resisted every attempt. Plus is adept at removing drips, tubes and whatever foreign body is placed in him. Thus the title, it could have read ten times no. He is not having any of that nonsense. He still has no idea he broke his leg or where he is. But the last two characteristics that remained have gone, his humour and his appetite. However, he remains. It's sad but his life has been fantastic. It probably will be for many weeks to come, maybe months as he is a stubborn bugger. His last wish will still be for some cake though, then I'll know he has a flash of what is happening.

The hardest man in wigan

Well, what a flipping week.

My dad fell on Monday morning. He was found with his leg behind his back, femur fractured in three !!! Ouch we softies may say! But I got to hospital and he didn't know what was wrong.

Is it hurting I asked?  What was the reply?? I then spent the next seven hours on a three minute loop


Him: Where am I ?
Me:Hospital
Him:why?
Me: you have fallen
Him:when?
Me:this morning , you broke your leg?
Him : who told you that?
Me: the doctor !!

Me: does it hurt?
Him:What



And repeat......for three days


I have tried to explain to staff he has advanced dementia, they acknowledge but don't at the same time. The nursing has been fantastic. But they don't get advanced dementia.


30 second Memory seems an alien concept. Leaving him with a urine bottle and saying press the buzzer when you have finished does not work. By the time they have finished explaining he has forgotten and thinks it is something he needs to fix.  So he re shapes the bottle, and wonders what the remote control is doing in his hand when there is no TV?

Even my mum does not get it, she actually witnessed him asking where he was three times before saying , remember when I was in hospital last year.

Makes me want to scream, he can't remember his last breath let alone what you last told him.

Tomorrow they are mobilising him. That will be interesting. Needless to say I will be briefing staff first thing about immediacy of information and action.

I have to say even the paramedic came back as he could not understand such a break and no pain, that's advanced dementia sunshine, and no matter how much you think you understand, it evades explanation.,

I despair! A phrase I use a lot these days.

Dementia is horrid and cruel' but please try to understand and train health care professionals as this will get worse.